Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Let Scots Have Berwick - and Brown

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Let Scots Have Berwick - and Brown

Article excerpt

Byline: WILLY POOLE

SO, what do you reckon to the Scots wanting Berwick-upon-Tweed back, eh? I mean have you ever been to Berwick? There did used to be a good chippy there.

I gather the town has changed nationality 13 times in its history. Now some MSP has decided that the Scottish nation would like the town back, please, and judging from the Vox Pop piece I saw on the telly, most Berwickians think that might be not a bad idea. Reasons stated were mostly to do with social security, health care and so on all being better in Scotland than in England. This may well be so and if it is, it is because the poor bloody English taxpayer pays for it.

Scots have bludged on the English for ever. Scotland was "bought and sold for Saxon gold" in the Act of Union in 1707. Indeed, it is an open argument as to whether Scotland has ever really existed.

Yes, I know about "Scots wa hae wi' Wallace bled . . ." and that damned silly film with that Australian feller painting himself blue and running about in a kilt swashing the nasty English. But there are one or two historical scabs to pick here: William Wallace was a member of the Anglo/ Norman gentry. He would never have painted himself blue: the Committee of the New Club would never have let him in dressed like that.

It was the Picts who painted themselves blue and look what happened to them: no one knows. "Cheviot" is thought to be a Pictish name, but no one knows what it means, for bye the Picts and they're "arl deid". That is what happens to people who paint themselves blue and get filmed running round in kilts some 600 years before the kilt had been invented.

The kilt as we know it is a very comfortable garment with the uncomfortable truth that it was invented by a Jewish tailor in Edinburgh somewhere about 1840 in time for the rise of Highland Romanticism. …

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