Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

A.M. Stir

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

A.M. Stir

Article excerpt

Byline: JEFF BRUMLEY

PLAYOFFS NEEDED ASAP

BCS SYSTEM IS A SHAM; TENNESSEE IS PROOF

Yes, the Bowl Championship Series is broken beyond repair and needs to be replaced with a college football playoff system. All kinds of deserving teams, even undefeated ones, are excluded from the BCS each year just because they are from smaller, less-known colleges and stuff.

It's totally bogus, y'all.

Prepare thyself to be outraged by this example: The University of Tennessee, my alma mater, was shut out of the BCS this year despite winning five - count 'em, FIVE!!! - games. How in the world can you justify that, Mr. BCS president?! I'll tell you how: Politics, pure and simple. When a team with seven measly losses (including one to Wyoming) can't get into a BCS (or any other) bowl, you know it's all about who you know, not what you know. It's totally unfair and disgusting.

As soon as he fixes the economy, I hope Mr. Obama will repair the BCS system. This injustice must not stand!

STICKY PHENOM

A WONDERMENT ABOUT LIP BALM

Has anyone ever used an entire stick of lip balm? The white-coat-wearing scientists here at the A.M. Stir Product Usage Laboratory can't find an answer.

Empirically the answer seems like "no." Lip balms get used three to 10 times and then seem to disappear. No one knows where, no one knows why. Stir investigators are checking to see if this is a big conspiracy by the makers of lip balm. For example, if they meant for the sticks to be totally used, wouldn't they put little ropes on them or GPS locator beacons or little horns that could be honked remotely?

Have you or anyone you know ever used an entire stick of lip balm? If so, please contact David Crumpler, my assistant, at david.crumpler@jacksonville.com. Please send photos or other documentation verifying that you have used a complete stick.

LUCKIEST GUY

MADONNA'S HUSBAND IN ENVIABLE POSITION

It's true that Guy Richie is the luckiest man on earth. …

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