Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

T-U 2

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

T-U 2

Article excerpt


This hasn't been the best January in Joe Paterno's long life.

First, his Penn State football team gets trounced in the Rose Bowl. Then, his statue outside Beaver Stadium was defaced by vandals, who actually cut the bronze glasses off the face of the statue last weekend. Penn State plans to replace the glasses, though it initially was unclear to school officials how much that might cost. Either that, or the real JoePa gets fitted for contact lenses.


With inspiration from the satirical Web site,, here are the top sports stories that just missed the paper this week. These are Hays' headlines.

- Plaxico Burress has microfracture surgery on brain

- Tampa TE recruit sets up official visit to UF with plans of breaking another crystal ball trophy

- Oklahoma to meet Ohio State next season in Tostitos "Somebody's got to win a big game" Fiesta Bowl

- FSU fans ask Everette Brown, Bobby Bowden to re-think their plans for next season

- Barack Obama appoints Beano Cook secretary of college football

- Boston College AD fires baseball coach for updating his resume

- Charles Barkley advised to brush up on the Fifth Amendment

- LeBron James: "If you liked the crab dribble, wait until you see my scallop goaltending"

- Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno leave championship legacy at Georgia - oh, wait

- Peyton Manning dismayed to find out San Diego defenders wore Gators T-shirts underneath their pads.

- Utah coach beheaded after breaking BCS code by voting his team No. 1 in coaches poll


Warning: Gator haters, read no further. You're not going to like this.

Florida fans are basking in the afterglow of winning a second national crown in three years, but the Gators still may not have reached their peak under coach Urban Meyer. Next year's squad has the potential to be one of the most dominant teams in college football history.

There seems to be a growing sentiment that superstar juniors Tim Tebow, Percy Harvin and Brandon Spikes could announce at the team's Sunday celebratory rally that they are returning to try and repeat as national champs. …

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