Newspaper article Coffs Coast Advocate (Coffs Harbour, Australia)

Learn How to Re-Program Your Feelings about Sex

Newspaper article Coffs Coast Advocate (Coffs Harbour, Australia)

Learn How to Re-Program Your Feelings about Sex

Article excerpt

Byline: Dr Sex

I LOVE my husband very much and I am very attracted to him but for as long as I can remember I have never been interested in having sex unless if I am tipsy/drunk or in order to please my partner. It is upsetting and frustrating for us both.

I want to want to have sex, however the drive just isn't there. I have been tested for low testosterone and this does not appear to be the problem. The only thing that I can ever even remotely think would have anything to do with my low drive, is the shame I felt after my mother found out I lost my virginity at 15, she was very angry and slapped me ... whilst I forgive her for this I am now 30 and feel like I will never have any desire. PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I really want to feel it for myself and for my partner!

PART of why you might be interested in sex when tipsy or drunk is because alcohol acts as a sexual disinhibitor - it can make you release some of your anxieties about sex, and relax a little.

Realising and experiencing this may have created a pattern where alcohol makes sex better for you, so you keep doing it and therefore it becomes a situation where you become dependent on alcohol to become interested in sex at all.

Too much alcohol is a bad thing in any case of sexual activity though, as it can make some people make some ill-thought out sexual decisions, and it can shut off the sexual arousal response, making sexual function difficult, and orgasm often impossible. So while a little may make sex more enticing, a lot will destroy a healthy sexual response in your body.

It's good to know you've had your testosterone tested, so we can rule this out as a cause for your low sex drive.

Often, your gut instinct is one to follow up, and your gut is telling you in this case that an early response to sex - your first time - created a negative thinking pattern in you about sex. …

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