Newspaper article News Mail Bundaberg Qld.

Can I Ever Trust Him Again?

Newspaper article News Mail Bundaberg Qld.

Can I Ever Trust Him Again?

Article excerpt

Byline: love life with Gabrielle Morrissey

MY husband left me and our family six weeks ago (we've been married 20 years).

We'd been talking about getting back together and I thought it was going well until he told me he'd been with another woman about a month after he left.

This has devastated me and now I can't trust him.

How could he do this and still think he can come back to me?

He says he feels very sorry, but I'm not sure how to get over this.

Anon

I'M guessing that when your husband left, it was on the understanding that it wasn't due to infidelity.

I can only guess this is based on your new shock after finding out about the affair he had later.

Presumably he left the marriage because he was unhappy in and it didn't take him long to seek comfort from another.

In today's age, to be married 20 years is highly commendable.

You've built a life together and so it's completely understandable that you would be at a loss and experiencing a range of emotions at the thought of that life coming to an end.

It's good you both established open lines of communication in the wake of this split.

It means that despite everything, you still have a bond and a willingness to both consider not splitting and working on fixing your marriage.

The spanner in the works of course is the latest news that your husband strayed.

When, how and with whom are details. The main point is he made the choice - one he regrets and is sorry for now - to be with another.

It's natural to be angry. And you don't want to spend the next 20 years or more with mistrust. That's no way to live.

Marriages can survive infidelity.

Though usually only when both partners are dedicated to working on the flaws in their relationship, and on being very truthful about their feelings about each other.

Without laying everything bare, the chances of really fixing the marriage are small.

You may feel alone and cruelly betrayed, but at least you know the situation now, before you agreed to get back together. …

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