Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Just One Snip Away from a Slit Throat

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Just One Snip Away from a Slit Throat

Article excerpt

I MAY have blown it with my barber. I think it might be over, finished, after all these years.

You see, I've betrayed him, gone behind his back.

I was unfaithful and I'm pretty sure he'll find out.

I didn't mean for it to happen, honestly.

I was out with my wife, not even thinking about letting someone else touch my hair, when I passed a barber's shop and saw there was an empty chair.

Sure, I could have looked away.

I could have said "you can't tempt me with your naked chair and come-hither look, you barbering devil".

But the blokes out there who still get their hair cut by a man will know that finding an empty chair in a half-decent barber's shop is like being offered a free ticket to the footy grand final.

It's so hard to say no.

So I just walked in and got a haircut.

Just like that.

I don't know why.

It didn't mean anything.

It wasn't a better haircut.

It wasn't any cheaper.

He was just available and I had some spare time.

Now I'm petrified that my usual barber will know as soon as I sit in his chair again.

I can see it now, awkward silences replacing our usual easy banter about football and

fishing.

The cruel barbs -"looks like you're starting to thin a bit back here"- when once he would have spared my feelings and said nothing.

A rushed haircut aimed at simply getting the job done without any of the passion that drew us together in the first place.

Hand over the money and get on your way.

It wouldn't matter with anyone else.

The bloke at the supermarket doesn't care if I buy my cereal somewhere else.

I can get my petrol where it's cheapest without worrying about upsetting the bloke at the servo near home.

I can even drink at any pub or club I like and the barmaid doesn't bat an eyelid (which might say more about me than my choice of pub). …

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