Newspaper article Coffs Coast Advocate (Coffs Harbour, Australia)

You Can't Handle the Truth; Wendy Loses Plot after Replacing Three School Jumpers That Have Gone AWOL

Newspaper article Coffs Coast Advocate (Coffs Harbour, Australia)

You Can't Handle the Truth; Wendy Loses Plot after Replacing Three School Jumpers That Have Gone AWOL

Article excerpt

I'M EXPECTING to be called into my youngest's school any day and I know exactly what they'll be wanting. An explanation as to why it's almost the middle of winter and my child is wandering around in her flimsy summer uniform.

Oh, for what it's worth I'll offer the school my side of the story -"Please miss, you don't understand, I've already bought my youngest three school jumpers this year - and she's managed, with very little effort, to lose all three of them and we all know there's no point buying a blazer 'cos they're 'so daggy' and only nerds wear them."

My statement will be followed by a moment of silence (for dramatic effect as well as for respect to the three jumpers still missing in action) and to finish my case I'll let out a long, slow sigh.

Just when I think they're sympathetic to my side of the story, my daughter chooses to pipe up with something along the lines of, "Mummy, I'm cold," and the school office lady will flash me a look that roughly translates (without the profanities) as, "What kind of a mother lets her child walk around in the middle of winter in nothing more than a thin shirt, can't you see that poor little girl is freezing half to death, what's wrong with you, you should be ashamed of yourself?"

And how do I know this is what's about to go down? Simple.

This is the same scenario that is played out every term. If it's not about missing school jumpers, it's bus passes, school diaries, library books, lunch boxes, homework assignments, sport clothes, sport shoes and sport undies.

And my youngest always has the same explanation during every lost item incident debriefing. No matter how, why or what she's lost the answer to my "Where is it, what have you done with it" question is always the same, "Mum, it's not my fault".

Excuse me? Not her fault? Oh well it must be mine then. …

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