Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

A.M. Stir

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

A.M. Stir

Article excerpt

Byline: JEFF BRUMLEY

NBA STYLE POINTS

NEEDS PANEL OF JUDGES TO ADD INTEREST

It has been universally agree upon that the NBA is not really a sport. That it's about style over substance. Teams don't bother playing defense, and players are free to travel, double-dribble and palm the ball all they want - all as long as viewers tune in during the playoffs.

Hence this proposal from the Stir Center for Athletics and Sports: Impanel a group of judges to give players style points for slam dunks. It would work like figure skating. A player makes his fancy-dancy, totally unopposed, non-dribbling run to the hoop. He jumps, spreads out his arms and legs and - surprise, surprise - slams the ball into the hoop. Wowweeee!

At that moment, the three or five or seven or whatever judges hold up cards giving scores from 1 to 3. The average number is then added to the team's score. Why not? It's why most people watch basketball anyway, right?

BACK TALK

Want to stir it up with A.M. Stir? Find something new everyone should know about? E-mail your comments, beefs and ideas to backtalk@jacksonville.com.

HEIDI'S BEST HAIR?

DOESN'T AMERICA HAVE MORE SERIOUSER PROBLEMS TO WORRY ABOUT?

So the other day I logged onto the Internet to check some e-mails and home pages that are on there. Somehow I ended up on People.com, where I accidentally read a story headlined "What's her best hair?" Readers were to vote on the hairstyles of different movie and television stars, etc. The very first was Heidi Montag from "The Hills."

Hellllllloooooo! See anything wrong here?

People, we have North Korea testing nukes, the Taliban advancing in Pakistan, pirates off Somalia and the Yankees playing strong the AL East. In other words, evil is on the move in our world, yet Americans (other than me) are fixated on Heidi Montag's luscious, gorgeous blond hair, which falls gracefully around her beautiful face like platinum curtains gently made by the hands of baby angels. …

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