Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Partners Need to Talk about What Really Turns Them On

Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Partners Need to Talk about What Really Turns Them On

Article excerpt

Byline: {} {DR SEX Dr Gabrielle morrissey }

OVER the span of a year love can certainly blossom ... but so can sexual problems. Particularly if miscommunications or misunderstandings have developed, or if partners haven't been clear or honest with each other about their turn-ons and turn-offs.

Let me clear one misconception up right off the bat. When you say that she says you do nothing to turn her on and your 'equipment' isn't as big as other partners, you are saying two vastly different things. Let me be really clear about the importance of size: It's not important. The only real way it can be of any significant importance is if the partner just personally or psychologically simply prefers a bigger penis. Physiologically, the size of one's penis has little to no bearing on the physical pleasure of the partner. A woman's ability to orgasm is primarily through her clitoris, which is located on the outside, in her vulva, and not inside her vagina. Add to this the fact that the main nerve endings for the vagina are in the outer one third, towards the entrance, and not deep within. So length has very little role in how to make a woman feel satisfied sexually. Even girth has a small role because the walls of the vagina will snugly fit around whatever is placed into it. The way to a woman's pleasure is not through that equipment, but rather a different set of equipment: Your ears, your mouth and your hands.

Talk to your partner. Ask her what turns her on. Ask her to tell you, or show you. Listen to your partner, pay attention and don't assume what worked for you with other lovers in the past will work with your fiancee now. And use your hands. Touch her. All over too, not just on her clitoris! When you caress and lovingly, seductively and passionately touch a woman all over her body, she increases her arousal and she releases oxytocin - a feel-good biochemical which makes her feel pleasure and also bonded to you. …

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