Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

How to Find Your Lost Libido

Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

How to Find Your Lost Libido

Article excerpt

I AM a 23-year-old girl and I have absolutely no libido or desire to have sex, and this is causing quite a strain on my relationship. I have had random instances where I have desired to have sex. However, these are not very often. Not only do I never get excited, but I don't feel any pleasure during sexual intercourse or any other sexual activity. My boyfriend keeps saying even if I'm not turned on, just do it and it will feel good. But the problem is it doesn't feel good at all, it either feels like nothing, or I feel like I need to pee, or it's just generally uncomfortable. Is it possible that there is something wrong with me physically which is why I don't feel anything? I love my boyfriend so much and I want to make it work but he is getting so frustrated with me, especially because he has a very high libido. I feel like I shouldn't be like this at such a young age. Do you have any advice?

IT'S not that unusual to have low libido at your age - really, age has little to do with low libido because a low sex drive can be caused by many things. Sure being young means your hormones should be at high levels, and many young vibrant people are fit and active and this helps maintain a healthy sex drive too, but many other causes of low libido are not age related. Often stress is a cause of low sex drive, as are relationship issues. Also, if you're not feeling pleasure, there's not a lot of positive motivation to get in the mood for sex because it's not an activity you relish.

Your body and brain are reacting normally to the situation, and you've also expressed there have been random instances when you have felt sexual desire. This means that whatever the cause is of your sexual desire, it's sporadic, or at least not constant, and so once you isolate the cause and treat it, your sex drive should return to what your personal normal level is.

Some initial questions to ask would be: are you on the birth control pill? And if so, have you noticed a negative effect on your libido since taking the pill? …

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