Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

For the Love of Animals

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

For the Love of Animals

Article excerpt

MY wife and I are huge animal lovers.

I don't think many people know that.

She loves all sorts of animals, but has a real soft spot for cats and dogs.

I lean more towards cows and sheep, although I don't mind pigs ... they're tasty too.

Oh come on!

Did you really think I was going to write a heart-warming column about my love for animals?

How long have you been reading my garbage, for goodness sake?

But I'm serious when I say my wife is genuinely up there with the greatest animal lovers of all time.

She knows I love her for it (though she gets a little scared when she sees me licking my lips as she strokes passing cats).

Give her a choice between patting a cat and talking to me, and the cat wins every time.

I know she loves me. It's just that in most cases she would rather spend time with an animal.

Which is why I won't allow her to have a pet.

It might take the focus off me.

But we get around it because we have friends who are happy to loan us their pets whenever my wife needs an animal fix.

Just like having the grandkids over, we teach them a stack of bad habits and send them home full of red cordial and bad manners.

If they're not allowed on the furniture at home, bad luck.

At our place it's not only okay ... it's encouraged.

It doesn't matter if Damian can't have his usual seat Co he'll get over it.

Would you like Damian's dinner as well? Don't worry, it wouldn't hurt him to lose a few kilos.

You get the picture?

But please don't think our canine and feline guests aren't welcome at our place Co I love having them there. Even the little dog who likes jumping up on the bed during the night and plonking his tiny little bum on my face.

Or the larger dog that had never seen stairs.

Unfortunately, although he managed to get to the top (my wife holding a doggie biscuit up the top and me pushing from behind), he was too scared to go back down.

"Looks like you'll have to carry him down," my wife said in a matter-of-fact way. …

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