Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Daily (Maroochydore, Australia)

There'll Be Tears before Arrival Time in This Mass Panic Attack

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Daily (Maroochydore, Australia)

There'll Be Tears before Arrival Time in This Mass Panic Attack

Article excerpt

BEING cursed with an impatient nature means every day presents colossal challenges. It's as though everyone in the world sets out to test you.

The supermarket check-out woman deliberately times her paper roll to run out just as it is your turn.

Traffic lights know your licence number and turn themselves red at your approach.

The airport check-in clerk purposely gets his phone to ring just as you puff towards him with your heavy bags.

The person in front of you at the movie ticket box intentionally misplaces his wallet.

Everyone in town knows when and where you plan to drive and gets his or her car out to deliberately drive slowly in front of you.

It's always the way.

So, you can imagine how I (current world-title holder of The Most Impatient Person on the Planet) felt when I heard the news of a nine-day traffic jam in China. Nine days. Stuck in traffic. A 100km deadlock.

Just writing that has caused beads of sweat to dampen my palms.

Being stuck in traffic is the impatient person's deadliest fear. Nothing compares to it.

I have experienced many traffic jams Co from Beijing to London and in between Co and how I've survived is a miracle.

Driving in France on the eve of a four-day-long weekend saw me in a 50km traffic jam. Bumper-to-bumper traffic going nowhere, standing still for dreadful kilometre after kilometre. It caused my heart to race and my head to throb.

And that was traffic on the other side of the motorway going in the opposite direction. My side was fast moving. I was going north, everyone else in France was heading south.

Is that not proof of my championship impatience? I can even enjoy my impatience vicariously.

When my son picked me up from the airport in Sydney late one night last week and drove me through a relatively traffic-free tunnel announcing, "I got stuck for an hour in traffic in this tunnel yesterday,'' it was all I could do to stop myself from asking him to let me out of the car to walk. …

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