Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

I've Got a Bone to Pick

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

I've Got a Bone to Pick

Article excerpt

I'M on holidays this week and didn't get around to writing a column before I left.

I really, really tried. I promise. But it just didn't happen.

So here's one I wrote way back when it all began. June 2008 to be precise. Back before I found my first grey hair. Before you all grew to know and love me. Before I lost the ability to put two words together. Enjoy.

IT really isn't fair.

Here I am in the middle of a fairly strict diet that's unrealistically low on dead animals and they announce that if we really care about the planet we have to give up meat all together.

I'd kill for a slab of cow right now, but it seems I would be putting the future of mankind at risk if I dared even look sideways at a beast, much less attempt to wrap my teeth around one that's strayed from the herd.

Oh, I'm sorry. Here I am carrying on like a pork chop and you've got no idea what I'm talking about. (Memo to self: add pork chops to side of beef on post-diet grocery list).

I found out the other day that they reckon we Aussies who enjoy tucking into a big, juicy steak are having a significant impact on climate change.

Some mob calling themselves the Supreme Master Ching Hai Association say we should all go vegetarian to save the planet.

Oh come on guys! I'm a scooter rider. Haven't I suffered enough for the environment?

I don't know anything about this Supreme Master Ching Hai Association but I'm not about to make fun of it, because it sounds very much like one of those martial-arts mobs whose members could kill me in 127 different ways.

Anyway, this mob Co which describes itself as a non-profit spiritual and humanitarian organisation Co has apparently launched an advertising campaign linking the methane emissions of cows with global warming.

I can tell you right now, there's nothing very humanitarian about depriving me of steak.

And I'm not the sort of bloke who likes to be kept me in the dark and fed bullshit. (Memo to self: fresh mushrooms would be very nice with that slab of steak ... after the diet finishes, of course).

This Supreme Master Ching Hai Association is urging people to do three things to save the planet: reduce power consumption, reduce transport emissions and reduce meat consumption. …

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