Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Seven-Year Itch Could Strike at Any Time; My Husband Has Dropped a Bombshell on Me and Told Me That He's Developing Feelings for Someone Else. He Hasn't Done Anything about It, and Says He Told Me Because He Wants to Work through It and Stay Married to Me. but I'm Gutted and Shocked and Don't Know How to Deal with This

Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Seven-Year Itch Could Strike at Any Time; My Husband Has Dropped a Bombshell on Me and Told Me That He's Developing Feelings for Someone Else. He Hasn't Done Anything about It, and Says He Told Me Because He Wants to Work through It and Stay Married to Me. but I'm Gutted and Shocked and Don't Know How to Deal with This

Article excerpt

Byline: DR SEX Dr Gabrielle morrissey

If you or your partner is in

love with someone else, while still together in a relationship, you're not alone.

Research shows that one-in-five adults are in love with someone other than their partner.

Most people who are infatuated with someone else are unhappy in their relationship, not surprisingly, with one-in-four people declaring they are unhappy in their current relationship.

Of those who are happy though, half have admitted that in the past they experienced feelings for someone else.

So the idea that we fall in love, and stay in love happily ever after, is not actually accurate.

It's fairly easy to fall in love a love swoops us off our feet and makes us focus on our new partner, often to the exclusion of almost everything else.

It feels good to fall in love and it's an exciting ride.

Staying in love, however, takes more work and devotion.

And, according to the research, it seems to be more difficult than many realise.

Certainly, many relationship counsellors will attest to the fact that most couples, over the long term, will have varying degrees of intense loving feelings for their partner.

At some stages, being in love will feel overwhelming and wonderful and strong.

And at other times, loving feelings may be more distant, and harder to muster, such as in times of stress or conflict especially.

The potential temptation to become attracted to someone else, or even develop deeper feelings, is always there. But if you're the one-in-four who is currently unhappy, it's even more of a chance.

The research indicates that when someone falls for someone it's likely to be someone they know, such as a work colleague or someone in their circle of friends, or even exes.

And it may be surprising to learn that the temptation is of the heart more than anything else: the more common experience, for falling for someone new (or old), isn't looking online to cheat sexually, for example, but is actually developing heartfelt feelings for someone you interact with daily or very often.

And once the feelings are established, then yes, the sexual urge can kick in, with one-in-six of those who have fallen for another then acknowledging they would or did follow it through and become involved in an affair. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.