Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Tell Him Your Fears and Seek Answers

Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Tell Him Your Fears and Seek Answers

Article excerpt

Byline: DR SEX Dr Gabrielle morrissey

YOU are at a crossroads in your relationship a but only if you choose to be.

You have been with your partner for a reasonable amount of time and it's understandable to start asking questions about where your relationship is heading.

However, your relationship is unique in that even though you have been together for a couple of years, much, or at least some, of your relationship has actually been spent apart.

To only see each other two out of 30 days means that the progression of your intimacy is slowed, at least in some ways.

You do talk on the phone every day and that is great in terms of building rapport and trust, and continuing your bond.

But over the span of two or three years, if your relationship wasn't long distance, you would likely be moving in together and merging your lives and families.

You would be spending every day together and negotiating domestic issues and lifestyle, and comparing your values and starting to share your dreams, fusing them into a joint vision of the future together.

If this was happening, you wouldn't be so uncertain about the state of your relationship and what the future holds for you.

And if it wasn't happening this, too, would be an answer for you.

One of the reasons perhaps that your partner replies with aI don't knowa when you ask him (and by the way, asking him repeatedly won't change his answer, but will increase the pressure he feels) is that he genuinely doesn't know.

He's in a part-time physical relationship with you and to move from two days a month to committing to having children together is a big leap.

Most couples shift incrementally, in baby steps, as it were, rather than straight to baby.

(Others, of course, hurry the process by jumping right to baby with an unplanned pregnancy, but this is not always the role model for a relationship that statistically will last the distance). …

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