Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Experience Enough to Make You Cry

Newspaper article The Northern Star (Lismore, Australia)

Experience Enough to Make You Cry

Article excerpt

Byline: OVER THE FENCE Jane Staunton

I OFTEN see myself in mirrors when shopping and think, aWho is that old woman?a This generally stops me in my tracks and has me running home to slather myself in moisturisers and face packs, having a bit of a weep about the ageing process.

Crying makes ones eyes go puffy and horrid. What to do about it?

Conversation at one of our girl's Friday nights came around to puffy eyes. The solution, apparently, is haemorrhoid cream. Put a bit on and the crying puffiness disappears.

I kept this information in mind, as it is a trick apparently used by models and movie stars.

Wandering around a shopping mall weeks later, it occurred to me I should purchase some of this miracle cream. I lurked around in a pharmacy, looking for the stuff to no avail, trying not to be noticed. I was unfortunately app-roached by a sales assistant who asked whether she could help. I was mortified, but told her what I was seeking in a whisper. …

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