Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Skirt! Blogger; Wanted: Friends Who Make First Call

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Skirt! Blogger; Wanted: Friends Who Make First Call

Article excerpt

Byline: Tonilyn Hornung

I'm the first caller. Sadly, this is one time the "first caller" doesn't win some sort of exciting prize - like backstage passes to a Bon Jovi concert or dinner for two at Applebee's. The only prize I win is the privilege of their presence.

If I want to get together with my non-calling-first friends, I'm always the one who has to start the proverbial ball rolling. If I want to go out to lunch, I call. If I want to take a trip to the mall, I call. If I want to go see "Step Up 4" in 3-D, I call.

Oh, these friends do call me back, and usually through my almost stalker-like efforts, we end up somewhere doing something fun. But, deep down I wonder if we'd be at lunch happily munching if I hadn't called. Deep down I wonder what would happen if I stopped calling.

These friendships didn't start out this way. I remember the early days - the honeymoon phase. We'd talk once a week at least and make sure that we had plans made before the phone was hung up. I felt pretty and popular. I felt like I had friends - friends who called me.

Now, I feel like I'm the only one wearing my Friendship Fedora. Always being the first caller makes me wonder if these friends truly are my friends. Don't friends call friends, not just call back? Always being the first caller makes me feel like more of an annoyance than a friend.

"Hey! Just calling to see what's up. So ... OK ... well ... call me back ... call me back when you can ... just call me back ... when you ... uh ... get a second ... uh ... thanks ... how are you? ..."

I have actually tried not calling. I've left our lunch or movie date and said aloud when I'm alone in my car, "I'm not calling again. You can call me first this time." This will be the true friendship test. I have a plan. I am immovable.

"Hey! Haven't heard from you in while . …

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