Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Where Is the Real Warnie?

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Where Is the Real Warnie?

Article excerpt

WARNIE, maaaaate!

What's happening?

Actually, let me rephrase that Co what the hell are you doing?

I'm sorry Warnie, but you're making me sad.

Real sad.

And it's not just me, mate. There's a whole lot of us feeling just a little bit icky at the moment.

Yep, I said icky because that's how I feel every time I see a photo of you these days.

Icky-poo.

What happened, Warnie?

You used to be so cool.

But you've changed, man.

It used to be all about hanging out and having fun but every time I see you now I think of a stallion that's lost a vital part of his anatomy.

I suppose you're happy. At least you've always got a silly grin on your face.

But that doesn't mean we have to be happy too.

You used to be such a bloke.

But I saw a photo of you the other day, Warnie, and I felt icky.

Yep, I said icky again.

You were wearing jeans, a bright blue t-shirt and a white belt with a large silver buckle?

Oh yeah, and silly-looking aviator sunglasses.

Fair dinkum, Warnie, what's going on there?

If you'd worn that into the Aussie dressing room back in the day, David Boon would have put you over his knee and given you a damn good spanking.

Now it looks like you might actually enjoy it.

And have you had a bit of work done? A bit of a nip and tuck around the eyes maybe?

You've dropped a bit of weight too, I see.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I reckon it's every Aussie bloke's right to have a bit of a facelift and lose a few kilos but don't ever forget what happened to Paul Hogan.

From Aussie larrikin to sad old man in the space of one facelift.

No-one's laughing at his jokes anymore but they're laughing at him Co and they're laughing at you too, Warnie.

They reckon you look like a piece from a wax museum.

I saw a headline where they said you looked C[pounds sterling]lady-likeC[yen]. …

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