Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Daily (Maroochydore, Australia)

Jump Start a Faded Sex Drive

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Daily (Maroochydore, Australia)

Jump Start a Faded Sex Drive

Article excerpt

Q I AM 57 years old and have been happily married for 33 years. I feel that my libido is really low and I never initiate sexual intercourse.

My husband is always up for it and is a very unselfish lover. We would probably have sex at least two-three times a week if it were up to him.

I find reading sexy books helps me get aroused but I am too shy to go and buy any and don't know what to look for. Can you help me?

A Differing libidos is a common issue for couples no matter what age. Like many issues that are negotiated in a relationship, frequency of sex is another one.

Whether partners simply have always had differing sex drives, or whether the couple has had children and needs to work libido and practicality of sex around them, or whether someone has had an illness or stressful event in their lives, libido naturally fluctuates. It is certainly possible to change your libido but it takes some focus on your sex life and some adjustments to your relationship.

There are two approaches you can take. One is the ajust do it and arousal will followa approach. The more you have sex, the more you desire it.

Sometimes, just doing it can spark your desire for it.

You acknowledge you don't initiate sex, but why not try it and see if that increases your desire?

Rather than being sexually reactionary, try being proactive and putting sex back on your brain.

Your libido is in your most important sexual organ, the one between your ears.

If it sounds too unappealing to try to make yourself have sex or feel sexy when you're just not in the mood and can't seem to make yourself get into the mood (and you would not be alone in this), then the second approach would be to change things so that you do find yourself getting aroused and in the mood for sex more often.

You've got two great things going for you that put you ahead of the curve: you have an unselfish lover and you want to change your sex life. …

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