Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

The Man Who's Every Wedding Planner's Worst Nightmare; Columnist

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

The Man Who's Every Wedding Planner's Worst Nightmare; Columnist

Article excerpt

Byline: Keith Hann

IHAVE a shameful confession to make - I have always hated weddings. For the further good of my soul, I suppose I may as well admit that I have never much cared for christenings either.

Indeed, the only one of life's conventional ceremonies that I can just about bear is a decent funeral - not least because no one has yet suggested that it might be a good idea for the congregation to mill around for a couple of hours while a professional photographer takes pictures of the deceased.

I cannot remember when I developed this aversion, but I must have worn it like a badge because most of my close friends, when they began to get married 30-odd years ago, did not include me on their invitation lists. Why would they? Socially inept, disastrously lacking in small talk and liable to say One of the few marrying a more sociable invitations start something shockingly inappropriate to a delicate maiden aunt, I must be every wedding planner's worst nightmare.

Then I finally got married myself at the age of 55 and must reluctantly admit that I quite enjoyed the day. Mainly, I suppose, because it afforded me the opportunity to make a 15-minute speech to an audience who were drunk enough to laugh at some of my jokes.

I know no better feeling in the world than this and if I ever win the Lottery I shall hire the refurbished Theatre Royal to perform a night of stand-up comedy - offering a free half-bottle of spirits with every ticket given away.

But one of the few downsides of marrying a much younger and more sociable woman is that wedding invitations start flooding in. We have been invited to more of them in the last couple of years than in the whole of my previous life.

I haven't attended that many, it is true, excusing myself from a number on the grounds of illness. And not a diplomatic sniffle, either. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.