Newspaper article Gympie Times, The Qld.

Phony ABS Hard to Stomach

Newspaper article Gympie Times, The Qld.

Phony ABS Hard to Stomach

Article excerpt

JUST when we thought that the late, great Michael Jackson would always be the last word in bad cosmetic surgery, a new procedure has emerged that makes Jacko's long list of procedures look subtle and tasteful.

And sadly, the idiot who has become the face of this appalling new look is an Aussie.

Australian paparazzo Darryn Lyons recently entered the UK Big Brother house sporting a huge beer belly a which seemed to have what looked vaguely like a six-pack of abdominal muscle hanging off the front.

Believe it or not, the vain but deluded man had undergone a surgical procedure which aimed to pass off a nasty fat beer belly as a set of washboard abs.

The cosmetic surgeon simply carved the lard-bellied patient's stomach fat into a set of lumps and bumps that look a from a distance, in the right light, if you squint really hard and maybe just take a fleeting glance a sort of like a six-pack ... that seems to be jiggling like a frightened jellyfish.

Have you seen this bloke? He looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle that has really let itself go.

So, while blokes across the world are trying to earn themselves a set of washboard abs by hitting the gym and eating healthily, Dazza has found a way to skip all the sweaty stuff and score himself a whopping big six pack a carved out of his belly blubber.

Of course, there are a few subtle clues that these afat absa are not the real deal.

For starters, real abs don't actually hang over their owner's belt.

Real abs also don't usually have angry stretch marks and finally, real abs are made of hard muscle, not squishy belly fat that jiggles when you walk.

Of course, if this procedure gains popularity, it could revolutionise the fitness industry.

For example, the next series of Biggest Loser could skip the whole diet and workout regime.

Organisers could simply get the overweight contestants under the knife of a few surgeons, who would then be judged on best sculpture. …

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