Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

Radishes Go Wanting in Royal Visit to ,CyHerland'

Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

Radishes Go Wanting in Royal Visit to ,CyHerland'

Article excerpt

DESPITE my pleas to her in my Open Letter last week, it now seems certain that Her Majesty will not have time to squeeze in a visit to Mr Betros' fine store.

She arrives in Australia in one week's time but, with only one day allocated to Herland, there will be no time for idle radish-eating.

I can well understand that other things might be higher on her list of priorities, but it's still a great shame and a photo opportunity missed.

A nice head and shoulders of her and her husband, up close in one of the check-out queues, radish in one hand and a stick of celery poking out of her handbag, would have made a very impressive Chronicle front page.

It could have been a great boost for our very important local salad growers at this time of recovery after the hassles of last summer. I'm not altogether serious.

Although I'm not a massive monarchist I'm certainly not a raging republican either.

I just happen to believe that we shouldn't waste too much time, energy or money on changing a system that has worked remarkably well and continues, benignly, to do so.

The Queen and her assorted relatives, stuck by birth (and, sometimes, untimely death) with the jobs they find themselves in, play their parts with great skill.

They are a lot better proposition than most of the hoons and hangers-on that wield power in so many other parts of the world.

You have to admit that, despite having wealth and privilege beyond the wildest dreams of the rest of us, very few of us would opt to change places with them, at least not for long.

Having to dress up in those medal-encrusted uniforms the royal men wear would be enough to put me off.

Those hats Her Majesty wears surely cannot be a great incentive for our womenfolk to seek high office.

Of course you would get free tickets to the Cup Final, I assume, but you would then have to run the risk of shaking hands with somebody like Sir Alex, or even Wayne Rooney. …

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