Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Bags Full of Collapsed Stars

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Bags Full of Collapsed Stars

Article excerpt

HOW are you off for socks and undies?

I don't suppose you could spare a pair?

I wouldn't normally ask but I'm missing a few and have come to the conclusion they're disappearing into the big black hole that's been floating around our place for a few years.

You know, one of those mysterious folds in the fabric of the universe.

You put something down in a safe place and when you come back to get it, it's gone.

I've looked everywhere Co behind the cushions on the couch, down the back of the fridge and all sorts of places you wouldn't expect to find a black hole.

I'm even going back to check places I've already looked.

I'm completely stumped.

For a while I suspected we had a couple of black holes.

The original one's been lurking in the laundry for years and enjoys eating socks and undies.

What you might call a traditional black hole.

You'll know if you have one because your drawers will be full of odd socks Co like mine.

It's a phenomenon that's puzzled scientists for years and I doubt we'll find an answer until the government starts treating it as a serious problem and devotes as much time and money to it as it does to other less serious things, like that pesky global warming.

Somewhere, maybe in a parallel universe, millions of odd socks are just lying around waiting to be reunited with their mate but no one in authority seems to care.

I suspected we had a second black hole when our teaspoons began disappearing.

Seriously, I can never find a teaspoon at our place.

Hundreds of knives, more forks than a pants shop and dessert spoons coming out of every orifice.

But teaspoons just disappear.

Thankfully, I've now been able to put my multiple black hole theory to rest.

To be honest, the answer was a bit of a shock.

My wife was cleaning out her cupboard the other day and decided it was time to throw out a few old handbags. …

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