Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Status Update: I'm Confused

Newspaper article Sunshine Coast Sunday (Maroochydore, Australia)

Status Update: I'm Confused

Article excerpt

JOHNNO, good to see you.

Yeah Damian, it's been a long time.

So, how've you been?

Newly single, depressed, looking for a new job.

Sorry?

Newly single, depressed, looking for a new job.

That's what I thought you said.

I don't get it.

You asked how I was and I said C[pounds sterling]newly single, depressed, looking for a new jobC[yen].

Yeah, but it was sort of a rhetorical question.

You know, I say C[pounds sterling]how've you been?C[yen] and you say C[pounds sterling]not too badC[yen] or C[pounds sterling]no point complainingC[yen].

Oh, sorry. I just took it for granted you'd missed my status update or you would have known how I was.

Status update?

Yeah, my Facebook status update that let's people know what I'm doing and feeling.

Like C[pounds sterling]newly single, depressed, looking for a new jobC[yen] or C[pounds sterling]in a relationship, deliriously happy, planning an overseas holidayC[yen].

Oh, I think I get it. But I'm not on Facebook, so I didn't know.

You're not on Facebook?

Nope.

So how the hell do you know what everyone's up to?

Well, I ask them, I suppose.

You know, pick up the phone and call them or go around to their place and see them.

If I'm really pushed for time, I guess I send them an email.

Sounds a bit complicated to me. It could be dangerous too.

Dangerous?

Well, how do you keep up with everyone?

Keep up?

You know, how do you keep up with what's happening?

I don't understand.

Okay, try and follow me.

Let's say one of the girls at work splits up with her boyfriend, updates her Facebook status to C[pounds sterling]newly single, depressed and angry at her ex for being a lying, cheating bastardC[yen].

You don't see it because you're not on Facebook and you walk into the office the next morning and say something really unfortunate like C[pounds sterling]hi Sharleen, what have you and Doug got planned for the weekend? …

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