Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Where's the Diet That Will Take 10 Years off You? Columnist

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Where's the Diet That Will Take 10 Years off You? Columnist

Article excerpt

Byline: Tom Gutteridge

IDO hope this wretched week crawls by. In fact, I'll be quite happy if Thursday doesn't bother turning up at all. I'd like it to be Wednesday, February 1 for quite a few years - until my brain has caught up with my age, that is.

For on Thursday I'm due to reach the terrible milestone that marks the beginning of my sixties.

Why on earth do we pretend to celebrate big birthdays? They take years off your life.

On my 40th, I took over a Russian restaurant in Chelsea and about 100 friends and I sampled every one of the 76 vodkas in the bar.

I don't remember a lot about what followed. Apparently we all decamped to my flat at four in the morning. I woke up at midday to find that my friend Rowland Rivron had spilt black coffee all over the white shagpile carpet and upended every item of furniture, including the wardrobes and the grand piano. It took me a week to recover; the carpet never did.

It's a best-apparently - the author My 50th was rather less wild but just as exhausting. Having discovered a talent for cooking, I decided to cater my own dinner party for 100 friends and family. It was a complicated four-course meal, so I spent most of the evening in the kitchen searing scallops. It was stressful beyond belief. 4-Hour Work Rowland was there again: but by now he was married with children, so he simply made a rude speech about how ancient I'd become. Time tempers the wildest spirit.

I read somewhere that having another child in your fifties makes you feel younger. Sure, I've rediscovered the joys of jigsaws, and I can recite whole episodes of Peppa Pig, but since Izzy arrived, I can't say it's been exactly rejuvenating. Constant toddler-carrying hasn't removed my middle-aged spread, instead it's given me a permanent twinge that feels suspiciously like a need for a hip replacement. …

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