Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

Art of Hitting the Bullseye Takes on Whole New World

Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

Art of Hitting the Bullseye Takes on Whole New World

Article excerpt

I AM feeling a lot better now ... I was all depressed last week, what with the weather and the dog putting mud on my newly cleaned carpets.

Now the sun's been out, the Queensland election will soon be done and dusted and I've watched the darts from England.

There's an Aussie bloke with a long pigtail and an ability to get ONE HUNDRED AND EIGH-TEEEEE with monotonous regularity. It's a whole new world. Massive crowds and beer by the gallon, in real places like Bolton and Glasgow with accents to match.

It's probably politically incorrect to say it, but there's something slightly comical about strapping great lads stepping up to the oche and throwing pointy things at a board hung precisely seven feet nine and one quarter inches away, with the bullseye set 68 inches above the floor.

These are World Darts Federation dimensions and not to be trifled with lightly.

The oche is a dead-set certain trivia night winner. It's the line behind which the lads have to stand. You probably knew that anyway.

It's a world away from the pubs where I occasionally used to have a game.

The only rules were that you were disqualified if your dart hit the barmaid, by mistake or otherwise, and you weren't allowed to stick the dart back in if it fell out.

These proper players don't hang about.

Each game is 501 down, done in less time than it takes for David Warner to get off the mark. You're a disgrace if you don't get the finishing double the first time you aim at it.

I've never actually scored that many and have often taken most of the evening before I've hit the board with three consecutive darts.

However I've always regarded myself as being fairly smart when it comes to adding up and subtracting numbers.

Compared with their scorer, a little husky-voiced bloke, I can only be described as ashitea.

This man, in less time than it takes for a third dart to travel seven feet nine inches, can assess where it's going to land, add the resulting score to the total of the previous two darts and yell out the answer. …

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