Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Bizarre Not Even Close

Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Bizarre Not Even Close

Article excerpt

Damian

Bathersby

Columnist

news@dailymercury.com.au

A BLOKE tried to relieve himself on our lounge the other night. And when I say C[pounds sterling]relieve himselfC[yen], I don't mean he wanted to have a rest.

I don't know who he was. He just walked in off the street at five o'clock in the morning and attempted to C[pounds sterling]go pee-peeC[yen] on our lounge. We heard him come through the screen door (I swear I locked it) and before I knew it he was walking past our bedroom.

I got in his face demanding to know what he was doing in our unit at 5am with one hand inside his pants, but all he would do was mutter C[pounds sterling]goin' toiletC[yen] and stare through me like I wasn't there.

I soon realised he wasn't drunk, as I'd first suspected, but sleepwalking. Apparently he was visiting the people next door and had somehow become lost on his way to the toilet.

At least I hope that's what happened because my solution was to steer him out our door and across to the neighbour's. …

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