Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Whoever Does PR at Greggs Should Start Running Branding Workshops for the Royal Family

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Whoever Does PR at Greggs Should Start Running Branding Workshops for the Royal Family

Article excerpt

Byline: KATE FOX

THE Union Jacks have suddenly multiplied like the clematis flowers in the sun. I'm getting the feeling the country is going to go properly Jubilee mad. I do a thought experiment.

I imagine asking a group of teenagers what the flag and the Jubilee symbolises. I get answers like "Er... Britain", "The Queen and that".

"Yes, but what are the values she represents?" "Erm... garden parties, corgis, winning wars and things."

Then I imagine showing them the Greggs branding. "What does that symbolise?" "Well, value for money, cheap pasties, affordable, accessible eating and the continued stability of the North East economy." (I have imagined a freakishly articulate teenager there admittedly, who takes chemistry textbooks into the park and has a crush on Carol Vorderman).

Anyway, my point is that I don't think the Royal brand is very clear, but people are still buying into it, which worries me a bit. If pushed, most people could come up with "tradition", but I wonder which element of "tradition" that would be.

Extreme emotional repression? Colonising other countries and nicking their things? There is a set of modern values around diversity, tolerance, innovation and selflessness that sort of come through from the Royals, after Princess Diana's meltdown dragged them kicking and screaming into the modern world, but I don't think the Queen quite embodies them.

She's an impressive and dutiful old lady, but I think it's time she and Philip took themselves off to the "Corgi Home for One's Quiet, Curmudgeonly Dotage" and let Prince William take over the reins.

Then drastically streamline all other Royal activities and send the ones left on some intensive PR and branding workshops.

Preferably run by whoever is doing PR for Greggs.

They've played an absolute blinder this week. Their chief exec pictured in branches, personally giving customers the good news about the axing of the so-called Pasty Tax. …

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