Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

I'm A Celebrity, Get the Queen out of Here. Columnist

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

I'm A Celebrity, Get the Queen out of Here. Columnist

Article excerpt

Byline: David Banks

IWAS flicking nonchalantly through my well-thumbed copy of Robert Baden-Powell's Scouting for Boys the other day (I rarely go anywhere without it) when I came across the following gem: "[Bees] are quite a model community, for they respect their queen and kill their unemployed."

Wow, what perspicacity! B-P might have been writing for this week's Daily Mail, not for his pimply backwoods pioneers back in 1908.

And no wonder his fourpenny classic became one of the best-sellers of the 20th Century when it was stuffed full of National Socialism like that.

Praising the queen and persecuting the unemployed is what we've been doing throughout Diamond Jubilee week.

"Say what you like about Her Majesty," quoth one denizen of the Red Lion as he raised a glass to the goggle-box, "but she's 86 and spent four hours in the freezing rain on the banks of the Thames waving to passing boats. Amazing!" True, I replied, while pointing out that the 90-year-old love of her life Praising the didn't fare so well after a day in the rain, being rushed off to a hospital for antibiotics while the BBC consoled the nation with hourly updates on the state of the poor old prince's bladder. persecuting the is what we've throughout "And say what you like about the company that's won the contract to provide fire marshalls for the London Olympics," grunted the belligerent boozer, "but they DO know how to treat those lazy, workshy unemployed."

You mean, I innocently asked, the 30 long-term unemployed jobseekers who were bussed into London to 'audition' for Olympics jobs by working unpaid as stewards during the Diamond Jubilee celebrations and then told they could sleep rough under London Bridge? "Too right!" replied my pal from the Far Too Right Party. "Her Majesty could have done that standing on her head. At least it would have been dry under London Bridge, the Queen had to stand under a sopping canopy!" Fortunately, BBC viewers of the jubilee flotilla were spared much of the five hours of damp boredom. …

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