Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Flirting Not a Game for Everyone; Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Flirting Not a Game for Everyone; Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Article excerpt

I THINK flirting is totally harmless and I smile and joke around with just about everyone I come in contact with, male or female.

But my husband has a real problem with my behaviour. Last week he got really uptight when I told a waiter at a restaurant we visit frequently that I liked the new staff uniforms. That seems like an over-reaction to me. I don't want to have to be on guard whenever I'm out with him and stop behaving naturally.

How do I convince him flirting is a normal part of life?

YOU'RE right that flirting is a normal, and enjoyable, part of life. It is most obvious, of course, when you are single. You are most free then to be seductive, engaging and fun with anyone who crosses your path.

Flirtation doesn't have to be sexual so of course many people accept a degree of flirting in their daily lives, whether single or coupled. Expressing who we are in a flirty way makes us feel good about ourselves, increases our self esteem, body image, sense of attractiveness and helps us feel connected to others in a (usually) positive way.

However there are degrees of flirting and they are a reflection of our values.

Not everyone holds the same values, even those in a relationship, so it's important to be aware of your own values and boundaries and learn those of the one you love and have committed your faith and trust to.

Some people believe light flirting with no sexual over or undertones is acceptable. Such as being warmly polite verbally, and engagingly funny or sweet without any touching. When people cross into touching, it can more easily make people uncomfortable as they interpret what that touch means, and whether it is sexual or aharmless flirtinga.

However, some couples accept some touching with others because perhaps they are both flirtatious people, or they both understand and believe that touch can be aharmlessa too, meaning devoid of any intention to cross a line and hurt their partner's feelings. …

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