Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

I Don't Want to Meet My Partner's Children

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

I Don't Want to Meet My Partner's Children

Article excerpt

Dear Parenting Panel I don't want to meet my new partner's kids. I know it sounds awful, but I'm petrified they won't like me - or me them! I'm 47 and don't have any children myself, but he has three - two at university and one at college. We've been together for six months now, so the time feels right for an introduction, but the thought of it sends shivers down my spine. I'm not maternal and feel very unsure of becoming a 'step-mother' figure in the future. I want to keep an open mind though, as I'm sure it will be just as hard for them to accept me. Do you have any advice on how I should approach this situation? Parenting panel member Kerry Bartlett, 43, is a healthcare adviser for Boots and lives in Heworth with her husband of 16 years, Keith, 60, a drum teacher. They have two boys, Keiron, 14, and Kai, 10.

She says: First things first, these are not children any more, they are young adults so it is not like you are expected to become a step mother figure to them.

No horrible nappy changes and toddler tantrums to face, so really you're getting it a lot easier than some partners do to divorced and separated parents, so count your blessings.

I know you say you're not maternal, which is not unusual. Just because you are a woman it doesn't mean you have to love babies and children.

We are all different and while some women coo over babies, to some it's their worst nightmare, it's just the way we are and you must not feel guilty about it.

Luckily, you are not having to face the prospect of being with a partner who has very young children, and having to take on the role of a step mother, you are just meeting three young adults for the first time.

I think the first thing you have to do is put any thoughts to the back of your mind that you won't like them and vice versa.

You must keep an open mind and see how the first meeting goes. If they love their dad they will want him to be happy and if you're confident that you're the one to make him happy, then let them see it. …

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