Newspaper article News Mail Bundaberg Qld.

Resolved to Help the Wife

Newspaper article News Mail Bundaberg Qld.

Resolved to Help the Wife

Article excerpt

I BELIEVE New Year resolutions are too important to be left until January 1, 2013. Who wants to go on making the same old social mistakes and continue to behave badly?

First off, all female company should be avoided a especially where gossip is the main attraction.

Having said that, it would be intriguing to learn more about the sexual exploits of that snotty, butter-would-not-melt-in-her-mouth blondie.

How wonderfully scandalous to hear all the juicy bits about her and her boarder. Has he found out yet that the hair on her chest is a different colour to her head?

To get all the answers would mean sitting and consuming too many slices of cheesecake and drinking gallons of coffee. The latter does keep the waterworks flowing but the desserts stick straight to the bottom.

Speaking of food, a few lessons in cooking would help. A diet of baked beans can be monotonous and noisy.

Perhaps some exercise, and I do not mean water aerobics. Floating around with the ladies may be great fun socially but the fat stays where it should not be. …

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