Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Husband and Mum Fight; Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Husband and Mum Fight; Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Article excerpt

MY HUSBAND can't stand my mother. They loathe each other for various reasons and we are all having to see each other a great deal because my husband and I have a new baby and my mother only lives two suburbs away, so she's visiting and helping out almost every day. I appreciate the help but it's creating an unbearable tension between us all. What's more, my husband will tell me how much he can't stand my mother, vent all his frustrations and say truly awful, ugly things about her and then not moments later try to seduce me for sex. Between being fatigued from the baby and now also from my husband's awful attitude, sex is the last thing I want with him! How do I handle this situation? Because it seems like every day it just gets worse, I get angrier and soon, I fear, I won't recognise the man I married.

WHILE this may seem like a tricky situation that requires balance, in fact it's very simple.

You are the new mother and so you are the priority. It is not fair that either your husband or your mother put added anxiety or stress on you at a time when you need to get as much rest as you can, and focus on the health and wellbeing of your new baby.

What's more, it's also not fair that either or both of them put you in the middle of a tense family dynamic.

It's never easy being the middle person between two people, who don't like each other and it's even more difficult when it is family.

Your best approach is not to take sides and to speak with both of them about the effect their rift is having on you and your ability to focus on the baby, at a time in your life that should be wholly joyful.

Ask them to put aside their differences, for the sake of the family and if they can't do that, ask that they respect your wish for them not to involve you with their feelings and frustrations.

It's not that you're saying you won't be there for them: you're saying in these circumstances, you're not the appropriate person to involve and they should each find another support person to vent to. …

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