Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Belly Bulge Raises Gut Feelings; Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Belly Bulge Raises Gut Feelings; Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Article excerpt

I've been in a relationship for seven years. In the first year there was no sex, then the next few years were quite good, but now he says he doesn't want sex because my belly hangs a little. I have had six children. He says he has never been with a woman whose belly was like this and it turns him off. I think he has underlying issues with sex and just using this as an excuse. What do you think?

When you've been in a relationship for seven years, often you can trust your gut instinct (pun intended!). Not just about your belly and general attractiveness but about your partner and your relationship too. While you can't make assumptions about your partner without checking them with clear communication, intimacy for years in a relationship does afford you the ability to know when something isn't quite right and more is likely going on than appears on the surface. If you think your partner is using your external appearance as a reason for not having sex then this needs to be addressed. Talk to him about it. When a couple has a sexual issue, it is not a one-person issue. You must deal with it together, and take responsibility for it together.

If you suspect there is more going on, sit down with your partner and discuss it. Rather than put him on the defence, which will only create a wall between you, acknowledge the belly as his established reason for the lack of sex, but say you think there must be more than that going on. After all, you've been together seven years, you both must have gone through several physical changes and loved and desired each other through them, despite them, and because of them. Ask him if the reason for the lack of desire for sex could be about more than physical attractiveness and ask him to be honest. Then you can deal with the issue, find a workable solution and move forward. I believe you might be right. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.