Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Summer Fling? Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Summer Fling? Ask Dr Sex with Gabrielle Morrissey

Article excerpt

HOW can I tell if what I think is a blossoming relationship, is in fact that and not a holiday fling on his part? I met a great guy at a party but it's the holidays and he's mentioned that a few times. I feel like he's giving me mixed messages. On the one hand he's very attentive and we're seeing each other regularly - a few times a week, but on the other hand he's always dropping hints (if that's what they are or am I over analysing?) about needing to travel over the holidays and all the commitments he has to visiting his family and seeing old friends. If it was a relationship wouldn't he want to invite me along? Or is it too soon? How do I know if this is a relationship that is going somewhere, or if it's just a summer fling?

This is a question that can be asked any time of year, except yes, during the summer, and during the holidays especially, there is a tendency for the dating scene to be a bit casual - footloose and fancy free, if you will. That doesn't mean however that people don't meet, fall in love and make commitments to one another during the summer holidays. Many a holiday romance has grown into something serious and lasting. So how can you tell? You can analyse every word and nuance, but the most direct way is to ask, of course.

If you've only been dating a few weeks, pressuring with "where is this going, can I spend the holidays with your family?" may not only be premature, but it may actually spell the ending of what could be a promising relationship. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: how important is it that I have the answer to the question, "where is this going?" right now? Can I wait longer and see how things develop before I ask the question? If you can wait, enjoy the thrill of being with someone new.

Those first weeks and months of dating someone are charged with biochemicals that make you feel fantastic. And it's even better to be enjoying feeling sexy and loved up during the relaxing summer holiday weeks. If you don't have to spoil it with an impatient, pressured conversation about "are we committed to each other, can I meet your family now? …

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