Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Life's a Beach and Then You Drive

Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Life's a Beach and Then You Drive

Article excerpt

Byline: Steve Orme

I KID you not, this week one of the many exciting modern agency partnerships is offering the opportunity to go on a course which will qualify attendees to teach children how to play on a beach.

The mind would boggle if it had any boggle left.

This learning resource, as we must call it, will no doubt cover all the essentials like how to get sand in an egg salad sandwich and just what constitutes an acceptable height of rolledup trouser.

Clearly there are also important health and safety considerations, the correct amount and factor of sun block and how not to encourage seagull attack. That's before considering the correct posture to adopt when operating a bucket and spade.

When I was a child, general advice was limited to how to build the family nuclear attack refuge against a handy internal wall, using three doors and some bin bags of soil.

If anyone feels these skills are applicable now I would be happy to arrange a short course.

This aversion to leaving people to the joys of self determination has crept into the world of all-wheel drive. Even some of the leviathan class of 4x4s offer an auto mode where really you want some stout agricultural levers.

Buttons should be confined to the stereo.

Among crossovers the very notion that you may want to make up your own mind as the going gets less than perfect has designers running for their bunkers. If it says AWD it is AWD and nothing to do with you for your PS28,000.

Suzuki however, takes a different view.

No one is going to pretend that as a marque Suzuki has ever flirted with the butch end of 4x4s but it has a deserved reputation for truly go anywhere small off-roaders.

The Jimny, for instance, will battle with the biggest and makes a great urban runabout. Just don't take it too far on the motorway with loose teeth. …

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