Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Price Is Right for Classy Carens

Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Price Is Right for Classy Carens

Article excerpt

Byline: Steve Orme

THIS week my local council has deposited a shiny new wheelie bin, peoples' bin number three for canton L40, as a more totalitarian regime would proudly call it. We are well on now with the great five-year plan to bring the full colour spectrum of bins to the workers.

We may endure a moonscape of pot holes but at least our streets reflect the artistic abilities of a small child with a very poor selection of crayons.

The truth is that on the wheelie bino-meter, three is a mere bagatelle. My daughter has just moved to the democratic peoples' republic of Wigan and she already has four bins while I am told of an authority out Lincolnshire way with five bins plus bags. Invest in the pressure moulding of plastic granules, young man.

There then comes the question of who came up with the colour coding.

Black we understand. Bins were always black although really the new black is grey. Green bins speak for themselves, they are the brave new future of national composting self suf-ficiency. Britain will never be at the mercy of Russian-controlled mulch.

Here in the rurals, green bins are handy for storing kindling firewood, compost being made on the premises.

As for the increasingly popular brown bins, I imagine they are something to benefit horse owners, while the purple bins in some urban areas are just showing off.

So, the new blue bin. This I quickly worked out was for glass, being exactly the same colour as a bottle of delicious Bombay Sapphire gin.

The upshot of all this excessive binnage is clearly a shortage of hard plastics to furnish some budget-end car interiors with so many makers now going soft. Like Kia.

Not that long ago you could have beaten yourself to death on the trim of a Kia. Yes, here was a mechanicallyable car at a very reasonable price, but the range lacked a European feel. …

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