Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Hope? No Thank You, Newcastle

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Hope? No Thank You, Newcastle

Article excerpt

THE Scotch bloke is off, so the boss told me to write a column about Newcastle United. Another one.

About a club with, by their own admission, limited ambition and where, seemingly, little much is currently happening.

Whilst we at ncjmedia remain banned.

So bear with me, here goes... Incidentally and because lord knows I can be petty too, the ban extended last season to club offi-cials refusing to provide me with details of admission prices.....for the Techflow Northumberland Senior Cup Final.

Like I couldn't get them elsewhere.

So, yesterday's request for an exclusive interview with Mike Ashley must either have fallen on deaf ears or got lost in the post. [For the record, that was a joke; there was no request. Got it?].

And why would there be? Ashley's probably away following his proper team.

Are Tottenham in the World Cup? He used to be big on England too, apparently. Well, they could be out by tomorrow.

That's it then, said the boss. Write about the World Cup. The terrible commentators. The luridly-coloured boots.

I could scarcely care less, to be quite frank.

Oh, I got into it on Saturday night. But that's because I was in the Turks with a load of mates, and even without being at the game, being half a world away, I felt more connected to it, to England and its sense of identity and community than I've long since felt towards Newcastle United. Then the gin ran out...

The bonus (just to keep the boss sweet) was my mates' prattling drowned out Phil Neville's.

Fancy boots? Mine are silver.

I'll be back there tomorrow night, too.

Again though, it's my mate from The Sunday Times' 50th, and I owe him a career, plus 15 shots.

No doubt the feeling is that England's recently-found endeavour and enterprise - better put at pace and, unburdened by the past, a lack of fear and inhibition - will reap its reward. …

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