Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Another Day, Another Drama, Can't Grumble

Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Another Day, Another Drama, Can't Grumble

Article excerpt

SO this time last week I left you hanging, wondering about the prognosis for poorly Bruce Jnr.

Well, I'm pleased to now report that his appendix, though grumbling continuously, is still very much intact. I'm also embarrassed to tell you that to get to that diagnosis we had to be rushed across the city in an ambulance.

But that's not the embarrassing part. No, as any parent will tell you, who has ever attempted to get their child to any form of medical practitioner, there is a strange phenomenon that occurs. At first sight of anyone even close to having a medical qualification, or anyone with the ability to make their actual pain actually go away, they immediately perk up. In Bruce Jnr's case he didn't just perk up, he sat up, asked if he could have a look at a defibrillator and begged them to put on flashing lights.

At the first stage of this I was the one having doubts. Prodding his stomach while he slept, sticking a thermometer in the most unhygienic of places and generally quizzing him like national security depended on it. I've been called an overcautious mother once too many times to walk that path again. My doubts were eased, however, by the fact I couldn't get him to stop crying, and no amount of TV, iTunes bribes or promises of Krispy Kreme donuts could settle it.

I, therefore, relented and having turned to the modern equivalent of the Readers Digest book of modern medical issues, aka Google, I was convinced I would be well within my rights to suspect appendicitis and we headed to A and E while it was still dark.

The process begins. Stage one: triage nurse. I have to peel him from the seats in the casualty department waiting room, reminding him that he's nearly 10 and I cannot carry him, only for said "lump" to turn the corner and into a completely new human. "How are you feeling?" the nurse asks. "Fine," he replies. Fine! Fine! "Well no you're not fine, are you?" I angrily chip in.

Alarm bells start ringing for the nurse; Wooooo woooooo danger, danger. …

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