Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

More Gigs - and More Hecklers

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

More Gigs - and More Hecklers

Article excerpt

Byline: MIKE MILLIGAN

WHAT does Christmas mean for comedians ? More gigs generally, although this usually means you get a lot more works dos; which in turn increases the chances of the bane of our festive lives turning up ... the office party pillock!

They've been waiting for months for this, seizing their chance to heckle the comic - so they can 'impress' their 'mates' with their public demonstration of marvellous wit and charismatic persona.

Unsurprisingly, these numpties are usually as popular with their colleagues as Nigel Farage at a multicultural buffet.

His long-suffering workmates have had to put up with his (yes girls, it's usually a 'him') cringingly embarrassing patter all year, although his delusional self-image is one of the office joker and raconteur; admired and adored by all who know him. This is the bloke who wears a 'zany' tie, Simpsons socks and went to a private school that specialises in educating the thick rich kids who didn't get into RGS or Dame Allan's.

He will tell all who bother to listen "hey guys, I'm mad, me ... Just here for the laughs" as he plots a rampage of back stabbing and bum kissing to take his ruthless, unworthy little carcass to the top of the corporate tree.

He probably has spent weeks bragging to the staff about how he himself should have been a standup and that he's going to make the comedian look like Gok Wan after a WWF wrestling smack down.

When the big night comes, this twonk will be oblivious that the rest of the the staff are trying to get off with each other like it was the sixth form disco again!

As mild-mannered Brian from accounts is having his face devoured by Krystal, the office shedevil; our boy will nudge them and slur "hey guys ... Wotsch thiiz?" He then brays out some random cobblers in the general direction of the stage that would have sounded weak anyhow, but his reedy, limp and posh tones merely serve to quicken his doom. …

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