Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Not Taken with E-Tickets

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

Not Taken with E-Tickets

Article excerpt

DECIDED I was going to watch Taken 3 at the cinema because life's too long.

I don't know if you are familiar with the Taken trilogy of films, but it is a story about a teenage girl who goes to Europe to watch U2 on tour and all the terrible things which happen to her as a consequence. You know the ones. Liam Neeson plays her father, an equally unlucky mass-murderer.

Anyway, you do not read these columns for film criticism. That is best left to experts like the woman off Strictly Come Dancing. The point is, I booked the ticket for the film online, as a teenager might.

This is probably because I recently had a birthday which was the final one allowing me to refer to myself as "in my early 40s", and so I am clearly desperate to appear "down with the kids". Next birthday I will have to say I am "in my mid 40s" and I'll have to write a will and look at nursing homes.

Apparently, my midlife crisis has manifested itself as going to see terrible films and booking the tickets online, which is cheaper than a Ferrari at least.

I hate paying for things online. What one gains in convenience, one more than loses in the certain knowledge that a single misstep will send one back to the beginning of the process, lock up one's bank account, or land oneself with a 45-minute call to a premium-rate helpline staffed 8am-8pm by people who can't understand convoluted explanations by men in their early 40s.

And my own circumstances are complicated by the Verified By VISA process, which requires me not only to remember my password, but also to work out what the second, sixth and seventh characters of my password are.

I should not complain. Yes, this is an inconvenience to me, but at least I know that even if a hacker had the ingenuity to discover my password, the further requirement that he or she should also be able to count up to seven would act as a tough safeguard.

Nevertheless, I jumped through the many virtual hoops, chose a seat in a part of the auditorium I would normally avoid because I clicked on the wrong bit of the screen, and eventually was given the option of having an e-ticket. …

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