Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

All about the Cricket When the Rellies Come to Town

Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

All about the Cricket When the Rellies Come to Town

Article excerpt

ME TWIN bruvver's cummin from Inglan' on Sa'erdee.

'E don' qui'e speak li'e tha' but that's 'ow peo'le from 'is par' of the Ome Cown'ies speak if they've neva 'ad elocushun lessons, same as wha' I 'aven't.

It's always the same when he comes to visit us.

Within minutes of him getting into the house, there will be cricket on the television.

We shall be conversing at far too many words per minute as if we had never been apart.

It's really very nice.

His wife was born in Essex so she can't be blamed for anything that's gone wrong since.

She shares her birth county with the late, legendary, boringly successful English Test cricketer Trevor "Barnacle" Bailey.

It was Bailey whose incredibly slow scoring was famously described by cricket commentator Neville Cardus in his 1970 book Full Score:

"Before he gathered together 20 runs, a newly-married couple could have left Heathrow and arrived in Lisbon, there to enjoy a honeymoon. By the time, Bailey had congealed 50, this happily wedded pair could easily have settled down in a semi-detached house in Surbiton; and by the time his innings had gone to its close they conceivably might have been divorced."

My sister-in-law will be itching for a nice cup of tea as she tries to remember where the loo is.

They have visited us several times.

It's always details like the geography of the bathroom, and which cupboard we keep the glasses in, that stump the returning visitor.

That's even without the inevitable jet-lag and the mind-numbing experience of having to fly round Syria and Iraq.

It's only six months ago that I did the same trip. You breathe a sigh of relief when the flight map shows you have safely flown north of Iraq and are heading down to slightly less troubled parts of the world.

The rellies will both be jet-lagged out of their minds having arrived in Brisbane direct from London via Dubai sometime before breakfast. …

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