Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

My Body's Baking So I Really Don't Need To

Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

My Body's Baking So I Really Don't Need To

Article excerpt

Byline: LINDSAY BRUCE The chaotic life of a working mum

BAKING, and especially baking to a theme, was never really going to happen this week. I mean, I had the best of intentions but the odds were stacked against me.

Firstly, because the remaining amateurs of this week's bake-off were creating all things Victorian, which is flour and egg speak for highly complicated, gelatine-filled and impossible to recreate.

Secondly, I had forgotten that the Great British Bake Off gets harder as the weeks go on.

If I can barely make a sponge, what chance would I have now that even Mary Berry thinks Mr Hollywood is getting too rough? None. In case you wondered. Thirdly and finally, three months into my menopause journey, the hot flush committee convened and decided to try and take me down once and for all.

For those of you not versed in a medicine-induced presurgery hormonal meltdowns, let me explain.

I drink a cup of tea. I have a hot flush.

I stand in front of the oven. I have a hot flush.

I drive the car. I have a hot flush.

I watch something sentimental, I cry, and then I have a hot flush.

Recently I had to attend a job interview on a wet, windy day. I dressed accordingly including wearing my standard issue reporter's mack. The first few minutes went well. The chief executive was friendly and before I had the chance to say spontaneous human combustion he was making me coffee.

Coffee, in menopause land, is a stealth killer. The caffeine combined with the boiling water makes it the perfect threat.

Throw in raised blood pressure from an interview and you may as well light me on fire.

Coffee in hand I started answering his questions.

"Aha, yeah... I can do that..."

Off comes the coat.

"Well I have had some experience of search engine optimisation..."

And then the jumper.

When I started wondering if I could remove my underwear without him noticing, it was clearly time to excuse myself. …

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