Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Emoji Sext -- from the Camel to an Aubergine; LET'S Talk about Sex. or, Chick-in-Egg + Bee + Speech Bubble

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Emoji Sext -- from the Camel to an Aubergine; LET'S Talk about Sex. or, Chick-in-Egg + Bee + Speech Bubble

Article excerpt

LET'S talk about sex. Or, chick-in-egg + bee + speech bubble. That's how you kick off dirty talk in emojis (lit. "talk about the birds and bees"). Getting dirty using emojis is the most modern way to scandalise Middle England and terrify the parents of teenagers; it's also the new language of love. If you don't know it, you'll never have sex again, probably.

Every generation thinks it invented sex, though millennials have a genuine claim to have injected some novelty into the whole shebang (pun intended). Since the keyboard took off in 2012, postmodern Shakespeares have been sending strings of aubergines and peaches and water droplets to hook-ups and prospective Tinder dates, though the release of 150 new emojis mean things are hotting up again (pun intended).

Emojis the language love.

can't them you never Furthermore, last week Flirtmoji released a set of vagina emojis (some of which use the work of artist Erin Tobey). Unlike emojis proper, Flirtmoji is not a keyboard: instead, it offers saucy pictures you can copy and paste to send to lovers.

sex Which, if you ask me, is cheating. When used properly, these ostensibly simple characters are nuanced and expressive. So obviously you should use them to talk about shagging. That's what Keats would have done.

Right virgins, here's what you need to know. Firstly, the aubergine and the peach are the symbols for genitalia. Some have suggested the banana would be more appropriate to designate the penis. They are wrong. Clearly, bananas are comedic objects, connoting clowns and immature innuendo. If that's how you get your rocks off then bananas away, but in popular dialect the penis is represented by the aubergine, for harder, better, faster, stronger sexting.

Granted, the new keyboard has some other penis options and cunning linguists are excited. For example, the hot dog (weiner), badminton racket and shuttlecock (features the word cock), or cricket bat and ball (features the word ball) could work. However, the aubergine is one we can all get behind (pun intended) so for now it is assumed as the standard.

Anyway, that's enough cock chat - it's time to get stuck in (pun intended). …

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