Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Just Don't Laugh at a PO Girl's Stockings

Newspaper article Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)

Just Don't Laugh at a PO Girl's Stockings

Article excerpt

Byline: LINDSAY BRUCE The chaotic life of a working mum

WELL hello there. Long time no see. OK, so it's only been a fortnight but, given that my week had been punctuated by a great big operation, I thought I should fill you in.

In official terms I'm now 12 days PO. I live in a land now where abbreviated code is the freely spoken language of choice. PO for post op, BP for blood pressure and a whole host of more unsavoury abbreviations as well. Because I'm PO it means my surgery has been and gone and I'm now hurtling along the road to recovery.

I'm maybe being a tad over-zealous in describing my progress as a hurtle. In reality it's really much more like a fast walk. You know the kind where Lycra-clad people look like they're needing a wee as they clench their buttocks together while wiggling really fast round a track? Yeah, I'm that person, on the road to recovery.

The rate at which you recover is a hot topic for people in the hysterectomy community. We are bonded by our collective need for surgery, our ability to decipher code and being able to pinpoint exactly where one is on the journey towards being wellness at any given moment.

I don't exaggerate when I tell you there are entire Facebook groups set up to discuss - in great depth - the multi-faceted issue of post surgery bowel movements, or BMs as we like to call them!

The ability to put on your own surgical stockings is also an indicator of wellbeing. Six weeks, by the way.

That's how long I have to pair up every outfit with knee-high, white, toe-less compression stockings.

A word to the wise... stocking humour is not well tolerated.

Just because I, PO and full of morphine, could see the resemblance between said stocking and a talking animal, does not mean I should have put my hand inside and acted out an entire conversation between me and my nurse. …

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