Newspaper article The Morning Bulletin (Rockhampton, Australia)

Poetry Problems Hit an Error 101

Newspaper article The Morning Bulletin (Rockhampton, Australia)

Poetry Problems Hit an Error 101

Article excerpt

The world according to Bob




I CONSIDER myself normal just a plain old Aussie bloke

I don't mind a beer on a hot day and I've been know to have a smoke.

Now I'm not the smartest fella yeah I've got no great claim to fame

though I reckon I can hold my own on any subject you might name.

But when it comes to damm computers, I really find it hard you know

to keep up with the bloody young ones, yeah fair dinkum mate, I'm slow.

All the words they use confuse me it's not like I learnt when I was young

cause they all take on new meanings and get twisted on my tongue.

So I brought this dammed computer, cost me heaps of dough I'm telling you

and then I got my oldest grandson to show me what to do.

He said Granddad now you just sit down here and start to move the mouse

I said the only mouse I knew about used to scurry round our house.

No Granddad, use this thing to move around the screen from A to B

and click onto that icon to bring things up where you can see.

He said that little point is called a cursor, well I cursed the thing all right

I've been sat here staring at this screen for half the flaming night.

Then he said that I had all this RAM but I couldn't see no bloody sheep

so he said just click on start then exit and you'll put the screen to sleep.

I'll put the flaming thing to sleep all right, why does it always make that beeping sound?

He said you can delete the noise in options, Pa, here, I'll try to guide you round.

First go into My Computer find the System Icon and click stop

See all the beeping noise is gone now just hit return back to the top.

"Hey, I said "If this is called a floppy disc why is the thing so hard

and what's a bloody pixel and a multimedia card?"

Then there's ports and ROMs and icons, geez I feel like such a fool

Wally Lewis was an icon when I went to bloody school.

I only bought it to write poetry but I'm yet to pen a flaming thing

cause I can't get out of Windows without losing everything. …

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