Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Talking Is Part of the Healing

Newspaper article The Daily Mercury (Mackay, Australia)

Talking Is Part of the Healing

Article excerpt

VENTURING into this subject can be tricky and not spoken about enough, but it's important because it's very common.

Sexual relations can take a major hit after prostate surgery and treatments and can negatively impact on both partners and their relationship in every aspect of their lives.

The sexual side effects from treatment add pressure and are often enormously frustrating and humiliating for men who have had these treatments.

They can also find themselves getting increasingly angry over the most trivial and stupid things due to their frustration, and often the feeling that somehow "they are now less of a man", becomes almost like an identity crisis.

One common problem is that men often think that "this is my problem and I've got to solve it by myself".

Marriages and partnerships often break down because of the inability to communicate feelings, especially the affected man. There can also be a distinct lack of information and services available to them, to fully understand what to do, and where to seek assistance and answers, post-treatment.

It's an issue often faced by many of the men diagnosed each year with prostate issues -- and their partners.

Being able to communicate with your partner is key, and keeping the topic on the table is crucial, as the more sex is not talked about, the more it is easy to avoid talking about it.

If sex isn't discussed, the subject just becomes increasingly awkward and a "non-topic."

Resentment, fear of "failure," frustration, grief, and anger all intensify when the issues around sexuality are not brought out into the light of day.

This then leads to the inability to regain intimacy in other ways, that are essential to our overall well-being; mentally and physically.

And post-prostate issues need not be the end of feeling both desired, and desirable with our partners, because getting an erection isn't the only way to please your partner -- or yourself. …

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