Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Association Rules Too Rigid for Hizzoner

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Association Rules Too Rigid for Hizzoner

Article excerpt

Byline: Terry Dickson

Editor's note: Terry Dickson said he was going to be in a little late because he was first going to blow the leaves off the roof. We suspect a reader saw him up there and moved the ladder. We offer instead some timely correspondence from the Hon. Bubba Gene Hightower, mayor of Pond Scoggin, Ga., we found wadded into a ball on Mr. Dickson's desk.

Dear Mr. Dickerson,

I hope this finds you and your's fine and otherwise dandy. As for me and Guynell and Bubba Guy, we're fine healthwise but we down in a muddy slough of sadness cause I'm about ready to move.

Mr. Dickerson, I know they's people that's hollerin' about less guvment all the time and them that don't like it must not be members of homeowner's associations because we got us our first one over here and it ain't nothing but trouble. A feller started a subdivision called Pondview Estates on the outskirts of greater Pond Scoggin and he done a good sellin' job cause people come from ever where and bought into it some of which being from Atlanta and they put in to take over the association and they done it. From the president through the secretary, they all from parts north and way north and they got some peculiar ways.

Well, my old Walker hound Lucious cleemb the fence and got away and the story I heard was he wandered over into Mudhole View, as we locals call it, and he seen a woman, her being the association vice president, bended over pulling weeds beside the house and old Lucious he probably just meant to check her ID, but the result thereof was a goosin'. Well, she screamed and jumped as anyone woulda done and caught a facet with her head, and the result of the goosin' was goose egg in her head, but Lucious was startled and got clean away. So's anyway, the homeowners' association decided on a rule such as which we've never had outlawing dogs running free, but they didn't stop at that. …

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