Newspaper article Daily Examiner (Grafton, Australia)

Conspiracy Starts with the Letter C

Newspaper article Daily Examiner (Grafton, Australia)

Conspiracy Starts with the Letter C

Article excerpt



IT HAPPENS every time. A cyclone brings wind and rain, then the rain starts to accumulate in massive floods that cover the land.

The rising waters soon bring on a plague of noxious animals - rats, snakes, politicians and other vermin head for flood-affected towns and cities.

The ones that arrive and leave as quickly as the television crews are the pollies. But I felt quite nostalgic when the famous Bronniecopter landed near my new beachfront home halfway up the escarpment and out popped Malcolm to turn back the tides and promise that things will be better next time because we'll have flood-proof homes.

He looked remarkably like the Malcolm who was almost apoplectic a week before as he launched an attack in Parliament on the Greens' Adam Bandt. Bandt had made the outrageous comment that approving more coal mines such as the Adani mega mine would contribute to extreme weather events such as Tropical Cyclone Debbie.

But we all know that the initial C is the only thing linking Coal mining, Climate change, Cyclones and Catastrophes. I'm with Donald Trump there. He says it's a Chinese plot. And just note how Chinese starts with the same letter. Conspiracy? Coincidence? Correct? Confused?

You make up your own mind. As you do so, note that Science starts with a different letter. You read it first here.

And those initials means Malcolm won't have to eat his words that are soggy now. He snagged some negative comments after he turned down a sausage sandwich in Lismore. How could he? White bread, mystery meat and generosity. But he dodged another sausagegate by charming the woman who offered it. My spies tell me he'd just wolfed a plate of truffles washed down with a Moet smoothie and couldn't eat another thing.

I think a bit of pollie presence does the world of good in floods. Just ask Anna Bligh - never looked more appealing than during the last floods in the north. …

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