Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Columnist

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Columnist

Article excerpt

Byline: CARRIE CARLISLE

HIS week, I have managed the impossible.

TAfter two trips to the Middle East in eight days and one solid week in Africa.

I was felled by food poisoning, upon my return to Newcastle.

Dodgy Burger: 1 Carrie: 0 I cannot understand how this has happened to me.

Seeing as I'm so irrationally afraid of food poisoning.

I spend my life locked in a constant battle against imaginary food germs.

It's really quite the source of embarrassment for me.

But I've always taken comfort in the fact that, as a nation, we are all incredibly over the top when it comes to food poisoning phobias.

Like the great hummus scandal I narrowly missed this week, but heard about on the news, whilst in Africa.

Yes. You read that correctly. A hummus shortage in England, made the news in Africa.

A nation where nobody has enough to eat.

It wasn't even a proper shortage of hummus.

Such as when the floods in Spain, resulted in courgettes being as endangered as the White Rhino.

It was a self-imposed shortage.

The hummus was there to be bought.

It just tastes a bit metallic, so it was sent back.

Even though we were told it didn't contain anything dangerous. We wouldn't die if we ate it.

Still, we were too afraid to take the risk.

And then became outraged, when our shop shelves weren't immediately re-filled with magical, instant hummus.

As if Sainsbury's is manned by tiny little Oompa Loompas who work through the night to ensure all our hummus-related needs are met by daybreak.

There's no judgement here. I too, upon the discovery that my hummus was tin-flavoured, would've instantly panicked.

Debating momentarily whether to dial NHS Direct first, or just opt straight for an ambulance.

We've become so far removed from our food, that we don't really understand much about it.

Unlike generations before us, we no longer have any instincts where dining is concerned.

Best Before and Use By labels mean we never have to check our food personally to see if it's okay to eat. …

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